Term 4, Week 3 - 22 October - 2021
- From the Principal
- Assistant Principal - Teaching and Learning
- Assistant Principal - Mission and Wellbeing
- School Fees Update
- Year 12 News & Information
- Literacy Coach Report
- Student Spotlight Stories
- The University of Newcastle - Business Competition 2021 - Update
- From the Classroom
- Careers
- Sporting News
- Student Leadership News
- Current COVID restrictions & regulations
- Prayer Time From The Soul
- Parish News
- Parent Education - Parent Assembly Webinars
- Parent Education and Support
- Safe on Social Media - Group Chats
- Birthdays
Dear Parents & Carers,
In this Newsletter, you will find some important and engaging information in the Parent Education sections. There is a great article from Safe on Social Media on Group Chats and invitations to attend various Parent Webinars covering topics such as Vaping, Respectful Relationships, and Supporting Children through Change & Uncertainty.
Student News
Congratulations to Anna Gillies who has been named as one of four finalists in The University of Newcastle Business Plan competition. We are very proud of Anna’s achievement so far and wish her all the very best when she presents her plan and design to the judges next month!
Last week a number of our students appeared in The Daily Examiner feature on High Achieving Students in the Clarence Valley. We have included some of the Bio’s in a new section of the Newsletter - Student Spotlight Stories.
We also congratulate Hanna Tait, Chase Callaghan & Savannah Cheeney on their recognition from Mr Kevin Hogan MP for their sporting achievements.
Year 12 Graduation
We were informed this week that Year 12 Graduations cannot go ahead until after the HSC. This was another devastating blow to our Year 12 students, their families and the staff. We are now in the process of rescheduling the Graduation and will keep families informed. I am so proud of our students who continue to show amazing resilience and positivity. Week 4 is their final week at school and we wish them all the best as they depart and prepare for their HSC exams or commence work. Year 12 are welcome to study at school and/or contact teachers for assistance between now and the HSC.
Enrolments for 2022
Our enrolments for Years 7 and 9 (2022) have reached capacity and we now have a waiting list for both of these year groups. Due to COVID restrictions, we were unable to hold our August Year 7 Orientation Day. However, we have been informed that we can, at this stage, hold an Orientation Day for students who have been offered a place at MCC in Yr 7 2022. The new rescheduled date is Tuesday 7th December. Details will be shared with families in the near future.
Jacaranda Festival 2021
On Thursday evening I visited See Park to experience “Illuminate”, a spectacular lighting installation highlighting the beautiful Jacaranda trees throughout the park. It is worth a visit one night between 29 Oct and 7 November. As described on the Jacaranda Website “the enchanting blossoming Jacaranda tree performance, usually only visible by day, will now be an evening spectacular!”
The Jacaranda Festival is an important event for Grafton and the Clarence Valley and I encourage our community to support the Festival in some way. The events this year are spread through October, November and December. I hope you can find something to support. Four students of McAuley Catholic College are participating in the Festival as Junior Jacaranda Queen candidates. We wish Brooke Chapman, Chelsea Gosper, Laura Hoade and Aaliyah Roach all the best and congratulate them on their participation and service.
Please note, we are waiting to hear what is officially happening with the gazetted Jacaranda Thursday holiday.
Current COVID restrictions for schools are outlined in the COVID section. These haven’t changed very much from the last newsletter. Schools are operating under different regulations than those currently in place for the general community. We are still in Level 3 restrictions and it is expected to be this way until the 1st of December.
In this week’s excerpt from The Soul, we have included a reflection from Fr Michael Tate called When Words Fail. This reflection explains how we can pray for those who are very close to us, who we love dearly, and we sometimes don’t know what to say or just can’t say. This reflection helps us pray when words fail us. I have also included some information from The Soul on the Plenary Council, including links.
Masses have returned in the Clarence Valley Parish. Keep up to date with the Parish news through the Bulletin that is part of our Newsletter each fortnight.
Finally, please keep our Year 12 students in your thoughts and prayers as they (finally) complete their formal schooling this week and move into their final preparation for their HSC exams.
Yours sincerely
Kate
Kate Thomson
Principal
“We should be shining lamps, giving light to all around us.” Catherine McAuley
“The beautiful thing about learning is that no-one can take it away from you” B.B. King.
The above quote has a message for all of us to hold on to as we consolidate learning and prepare for final assessments in term 4.
COVID has caused some anxiety and disruption for students, however, staff have been proactive in ensuring that no student is disadvantaged by NSW health requirements for self-isolation. Although face to face learning is occurring teachers are also posting work on Google Classroom to ensure students who are required to be at home are able to keep up with the expected work. We appreciate parent support in reminding their child that they need to maintain the school timetable for the day whilst at home and if they need clarification regarding any work set, to email their subject teacher.
Year 12 have returned to formal lessons since the start of term 4. The school is also trying to maintain, where possible, some of our traditions for our year 12 cohort. Mr Bellamy and students have organised some competitive activities against staff as they compete for the coveted Salad Bowl, and many days in the last few weeks there have been themed days such as crazy shirts, Freaky Friday, Aussie Icons to keep the mood light and enjoy their time together. The McAuley spirit is definitely alive.
Year 12 are also focussing on preparing for the HSC exams and there have been practice exams timetabled within the school day during week two and this week. Any student who has been unable to attend will still be given an opportunity to attempt the papers and submit them to their teacher for feedback before the HSC.
The Higher School Certificate examinations will not begin until the 9th of November and everyone will be following COVID-19 safe procedures. Remember to look after yourself and contact Mrs Lee or me if there are any issues that may impact your ability to complete the examinations. An email to families was sent on Wednesday that outlined HSC protocols. It also is important to continue to review NESA Coronavirus advice for HSC students: https://educationstandards.nsw.edu.au/wps/portal/nesa/about/news/covid-advice
Year 11
For Year 11, Term 4 is an important transition as students begin their HSC studies and they have settled well into their first weeks of studying HSC courses. This is a crucial time for Year 11 to review their study routines and habits of learning. Results from the Year 11 Exams should be scrutinised carefully and gaps in a student’s learning should be addressed. Reports were published Friday 22/10 and students are encouraged to be proactive and seek advice from their teachers as to what they can do to consolidate their understanding in their various courses in order to move their learning forward. Now that year 11 have started HSC courses they need to remember that everything they learn this term is relevant to the HSC. It is no longer “just Year 11”. Parent - Student - Teacher interviews will be conducted by Zoom on Tuesday 26th October.
Year 7- 10 are preparing for their final assessment tasks in the latter part of the term. All students should be consulting the assessment notifications, clarifying with their teachers any questions they have and not leaving things to the last minute to prepare for these tasks.
Di McGowan
Assistant Principal, Learning & Teaching
Uniform
As outlined in the last newsletter, the Uniform Committee has developed a proposal which we are trialling this term. This is based on the timetabling of practical lessons by the PDHPE department on certain days only.
Year 7 - 10 Students
- ALL students will be in full school uniform every Tuesday
- When students have a timetabled PE Practical lesson students can wear their PE uniform all day. Students are still able to bring their normal uniform and change if they wish.
- Students must wear their full school uniform on days when they do not have a PE or PASS practical lesson.
Year 11 & 12 Students
- Students in Year 11/12 must wear full school uniform every day, except on Thursday when they can wear their Sports Uniform.
The following outlines which days certain classes are able to wear their PE uniform:
Day 1 - 7.1, 7.2, 9.1, 9PAS1, 10.1, 10.3, 10.4
Day 2 - All students in Full School Uniform
Day 3 - 8.1, 8.2, 9.2, 9.4, 10PAS1, 10.2
Day 4 - Sports Day
Day 5 - 7.2, 7.3, 8.4, 8.5, 10PAS1
Day 6 - 7.1, 7.2, 7.4, 8.1, 8.3, 9.1, 9.2, 10PAS1
Day 7 - All students in Full School Uniform
Day 8 - 7.1, 7.4, 8.2, 8.4, 8.5, 9.1, 9.4
Day 9 - Sports Day
Day 10 - 7.3, 9PAS1, 9.2, 10.1, 10.2, 10.3, 10.4
Please support the College by ensuring your child is in full school uniforms each Tuesday and on days when they do not have a practical PE lesson.
Other concerns at the moment that need to be addressed include:
Hair - Hair is to be well-groomed and tidy. Long hair over the collar for both boys and girls must be tied back. Extremes of hairstyle, including extremes of colour, are not permitted
Jewellery - Jewellery should be modest and kept to a minimum.
- Students may wear a single neck chain, one simple ring and one bangle.
- Students may wear a maximum of two sleepers or studs in each ear. These are to be small, plain earrings.
- Neckbands, as well as wrist and ankle chains and ankle bands, leather jewellery, visible facial piercings (such as eyebrow, tongue and lip), are not permitted.
- Only a clear nose spacer in a nose piercing is permitted.
Shoes - Black polished leather lace-up with a heel. Sandals, boots, canvas shoes are not permitted. Sport joggers are only to be worn with PE uniform. No canvas, skate, high top boots are to be worn.
If you have any concerns regarding uniform and uniform requirements please do not hesitate to contact me at the College.
CSYMA Applications
Thank you to the many students who have applied to be a member of the CSYMA class for 2022. These applications will be reviewed and discussions with students will take place over the next few weeks. It is important to remember this course is for students with an interest in nurturing their faith while developing skills in the area of peer to peer ministry. This is not a selective class. Students will experience, grow and live their Christian faith through a ‘hands-on’ learning approach that aims to deepen their personal relationship with God.
Kathy Warby
Assistant Principal - Mission and Wellbeing
COVID Related School Fee Relief
The College is offering term 3 tuition relief for families adversely affected by COVID during that period.
To claim fee relief there are 4 options available:
- Apply for an extension of time to pay term 3 fees
- Claim a fee credit for term 3 - you will need to provide evidence that you were in receipt of the COVID-19 Disaster Payment – NSW or COVID 19 Business Grant. The fee credit may be pro-rated depending on the timing of the loss of income and/or the eligibility of the schemes.
- If you do not qualify for either of the above government payments but believe that you have been adversely affected by COVID-19 during term 3, you may still be eligible for fee relief. Eligibility will be determined on a case by case basis.
- If you have already paid term 3 fees and were eligible for the COVID-19 Disaster Payment – NSW or COVID 19 Business Grant during term 3, you are still eligible to apply for a credit.
Please contact the school if you wish to apply for COVID related fee relief.
Fee Credits
As was the case in 2021, there were a number of school activities that did not run in 2022, most notably Years 8-10 overnight camps. We are currently assessing all activities that either did not run or were substituted for others. Once determined, credits will be posted to fee payer accounts.
Reminder
I would like to remind fee payers that any remaining fees outstanding are due by the 29 October, and thank all those who have already paid in full.
If you are unable to pay fees by the end of the school term, I urge you to contact either myself or Julie Power on 66 431434 to make alternative arrangements.
Stephen Hartmann
College Business Manager
We have been having some fun times in Year 12 over the last 10 days. Last Friday we had ‘Freaky Friday’ and students dressed up, some in very elaborate costumes. The College also provided some well-earned pizza for the Year 12’s. On Wednesday we had an 'Aussie Icons Day', which was originally planned to be the dress-up theme for McAuley Day. Year 10 Hospitality cooked us sensational meat pies and lamingtons. Thanks so much Mrs Warby and Year 10.
Please keep Year 12 in your prayers as the roller coaster of 2021 continues to give us constant highs and lows. What impresses me so much about this cohort is their resilience to bounce back and keep trying to make the most of every situation. We will get there in the end.
Please also find attached below, the letters that were sent during the week with information on the changes to Graduation and HSC protocols.
Year 7 students have developed an individual writing goal based on weaknesses identified in their writing. During Week 7, they will present a piece of writing to the Literacy Coach showing evidence they have improved in this area. Some of the common writing issues include:
- Using a clear topic sentence in a PEEL paragraph
- Clear evidence in a PEEL paragraph
- Linking back to the question in a PEEL paragraph
Literacy Strategy: Using the PEEL paragraph structure
- The PEEL paragraph structure is a simple way to keep students on track when writing.
- This structure is used across the school with slight changes depending on the subject.
- The order of the evidence and the explanation can change depending on the subject. Some teachers prefer to use the following order of point, evidence, explanation and a link while others prefer point, explanation, evidence and a link.
- Writing a paragraph is not limited to this structure. As teachers, we develop the students' writing to a more sophisticated level and add variations to support deeper analyses. For example, as students progress to Years 9 and 10 they are required to have an analysis section with the evidence.
Savannah Cheney (Year 8)
Year 8 student Savannah Cheney is raising money for 'Walk for Epilepsy'. She has already walked 54km and has until the 25th of October to get more steps in. Walk for Epilepsy raises money and awareness for people living their lives with epilepsy. Please give generously to this brave young woman as she strives to make our community better. If anyone would like to support this great cause they can go to the website https://www.
Jacqueline Samms (Year 12)
Jacqueline has had a busy year involving herself in all areas of College life. She was the 2021 College Captain. She is an exceptional leader and has achieved excellent results in her subjects: Extension Mathematics, Modern History, Advanced English, Biology and Studies of Religion. Her peers greatly admire her friendliness and approachability. Jacqueline’s teachers greatly admire her work as the College Captain and the example she has set as an outstanding role model for the student body. Jacqui participated in the Rotary-sponsored Model United Nations Assembly (MUNA) and won an award for her short story in The Long Way Home competition. Jacqui hopes to study International Relations at the Australian National University at Canberra.
“I want to be able to give back to our community and see myself and others flourish in their passion and gifts”
Melissa Meier (Year 12)
Melissa Meier is an outstanding humanities student. She has excelled in her study of HSIE subjects including, Legal Studies and Business Studies. As a self-motivated learner, Melissa has also completed German Beginners by Distance Education achieving excellent results. In 2022 Melissa hopes to take a working gap year and in 2023 she wishes to undertake a Law Degree at the University of Queensland.
Her advice is to ‘have a balance between study, work and social life.
Corey Newbold (Year 12)
Corey was the 2021 College Vice-Captain. He has been dedicated to his studies and his tenacity has allowed him to excel academically. Corey has a natural love for Mathematics and Science with a career aspiration to study Neuroscience in Queensland. In 2021 Corey was chosen to spend time undertaking work experience in medical science.
Throughout his time as a leader, he aimed to ‘serve and do what I can to build the College into the best it can be.”
Hanna Tait (Year 12)
Hanna was the 2021 College Vice-Captain. Hanna has been able to balance her studies with her athletic pursuits. In 2021 she competed in the National Athletic Championships, winning a silver medal in the Under 20's Heptathlon event. Due to the workload of studying and training, Hanna has elected to complete her Year 12 studies over two years in the hopes of performing well enough to receive a scholarship to the University of Toronto for 2023.
McAuley Catholic College Student, Anna Gillies, makes it to the finals of The University of Newcastle Business Plan Competition 2021
In its 18th year, the University of Newcastle Year 11 Business Plan Challenge has again been a great success with over 165 student entries from across the state. All of the Year 11 Business Studies students entered their business plans.
Congratulations to Anna Gillies for her Business Plan - “Lines and Designs”. Anna has made it to the finals. Her product concept - the Flippa Line - has captured the attention of the judges as an innovative product.
Anna’s explains her product:
“Lines and Designs is a company which offers innovative, durable, modern and sustainable clotheslines, known as the Flippa Line. The Flippa Line not only efficiently dries your clothes, but protects your clothes from harsh weather conditions. With the installation of modern technology including bluetooth, smart sensors and solar panels, the clotheslines ensure your clothes are sheltered from any harm or damage, including rain, hail and sun!
Sustainability is the foundation of the company, which is why all products are built using sustainable materials and renewable solar energy. With the click of a button on your mobile device or when rain is detected, the canopy, stored within the beam, shoots up out of the clothesline and folds out over your clothes, sheltering your washing. Lines and Designs also offers a diverse variety of the Flippa Line that we manufacture to accommodate all customers including folding wall mounted clotheslines, ground-mounted clotheslines, wall mounted retractable clotheslines, folding rotary clotheslines and fixed head rotary clotheslines.”
Years 9 and 10 Food in Australia Task
Indigenous apprenticeships program
Insights Report - Study Work Grow The Impacts of COVID on Students – here’s what our research has found: We’ve surveyed Australian students, parents, teachers and principals about how much impact COVID-19 has had on them. And the results were surprising. Read our findings in the latest October Insights Report here: https://studyworkgrow.
The Macquarie Group is hosting a free webinar for Year 9 & 10 female students. This webinar is an incredible opportunity for students to hear about the exciting career opportunities in Finance and Tech. The event will include a welcome from Macquarie’s COO Nicole Sorbara followed by a panel Q&A with four early-career women discussing their career pathways and why they’re excited about the future.
The webinar will be held on Wednesday the 27th of October at 4:00 pm (AEDT)
This is a one-off event from Macquarie and will undoubtedly be invaluable to females in Years 9 & 10.
You can register using the link below.
Empowering Women in Finance & Tech: Investing in next generation leaders webinar
Rod Paton
Careers Adviser
Federal Nationals Member for Page, Kevin Hogan, is making sure that young Australians across the regions are being recognised for their sporting achievements.
These local sporting champions will receive a certificate, as well as a $550 grant from the Local Sporting Champions program.
Mr Hogan has recognised 13 champions from the Clarence Valley, three of these being students of McAuley Catholic College. They are Hannah Tait (athletics), Savannah Cheney (hockey), Chase Callaghan (hockey).
Mr Hogan would normally present these certificates at the regularly held Sporting Champs Morning Tea, but due to current restrictions, these events are unable to be held.
“The Local Sporting Champions program provides financial assistance to young people aged between 12 and 18 years to compete, coach or umpire in their chosen sport,” Mr Hogan said.
“Those who received the Awards have excelled themselves representing their area on the national and state stage. The Clarence Valley has produced some outstanding sportspeople in the past, and it is important that we support the next crop of our local sporting talent.
“Unfortunately succeeding in sport doesn’t just take talent and determination – parents also often have to put their hands in their pockets to get children to competitions. I’m very pleased to be able to help these families with financial support through these grants.
“Sport is important in the development of young people: it teaches them life-long skills like teamwork, keeps them fit and healthy, and allows them to excel in something they love and enjoy.”
McAuley Catholic College Students
| Hanna Tait - Athletics | Savannah Cheney - Hockey | Chase Callaghan - Hockey |
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This week the Leadership Team has been planning for the upcoming ‘Socktober’ day.
Raising money for Catholic Mission, Socktober is a day where we will all wear crazy socks to raise both money and awareness, as well as have a chance to show off your coolest and of course craziest socks! We are also very excited to announce that we have plans underway for the money raised towards the school’s environment. To encourage more pride in our school’s grounds, as well as bringing year groups closer together, a tree will be planted for each year group. These trees will grow out the front of our school and will be placed around our playground areas.
LEVEL 3 RESTRICTIONS
The current NSW Government Roadmap for easing COVID-19 Restrictions indicated that schools will remain under Level 3 restrictions until at least Wednesday, 1 December. This is dependent upon vaccination rates and the review by the new State leadership.
STUDENT VACCINATION
NSW Health strongly urges all students aged 12 - 15 years to receive two doses of either Pfizer or Moderna COVID-19 vaccines as soon as possible.
NON - ESSENTIAL VISITORS
Under Level 3 restrictions means that parents are not permitted to visit classrooms or attend sporting events or assemblies. All group gatherings have been cancelled including parent-teacher interviews, however, enrolment interviews (with one parent only in attendance) are permitted to proceed.
MASKS
• Masks are required to be worn by staff in both indoors and outdoors settings.
• Masks are required to be worn by secondary students in indoor settings
Staff and students are asked to supply their own masks. The NSW Minister for Education has stated that it is expected that teachers and secondary students will be required to wear masks in indoor settings for the duration of the term.
SCHOOL SPORT
School Sport is not permitted at Level 3. Prac PDHPE classes are permitted.
HSC COVID PROCEDURES
These have been communicated to students and parents.
GRADUATION
We were informed this week that Graduations cannot take place until 3rd December 2021, as directed by Catholic Schools NSW.
Therefore, our Graduation on Wednesday 27th October has been postponed. A new date and format will be communicated to students and families asap.
FORMALS
It is envisaged that formals will be permitted (with some restrictions) at the end of the term.
PRAYER
WHEN WORDS FAIL
Reflection by Fr Michael Tate
One loves someone so much – a child, a parent, a spouse or partner – yet when one tries to pray for that person the words seem only a pale shadow of the intensity of feeling and total love one feels. Stop! Simply put the person or situation before God and say nothing. The Holy Spirit will express our heartfelt prayer for us. One’s heart is breaking with grief for someone close who is very ill or dying. Or one feels a terrible anxiety or anguish. Words don’t come easily even though one wants to pray. Stop! Put the person or situation before God and say nothing. The Holy Spirit will express our heartfelt prayer for us. Perhaps accentuated by the constant messaging of social media, when trying to pray we can get anxious when there is a lull in the noise and no words come. We could pause for a moment to relax and to allow the Spirit to express our plea in a way which could never be put into words.
© Fr Michael Tate; mtate@bigpond.com Liturgy Help
Deep listening was first and foremost on the agenda for The First General Assembly of the Fifth Plenary Council of Australia. This was required to hear the Spirit as it moved amongst the diverse voices of the members of the Church who represented dioceses, archdioceses, eparchies, parishes, religious orders and social services.
If you missed the live streaming or various podcasts capturing these voices go to:
- The Plenary Council website
- Plenary Matters with Geraldine Doouge
- The Plenary Tracker hosted by Geneieve Jacobs
Please find attached the latest Parish Bulletins from Clarence Valley Parish.
Positive Choices is an online portal to help Australian schools and communities access accurate, up-to-date evidence-based alcohol and other drug education resources. The Parents and Families link has some great parenting advice and information to help you talk to your children about drugs and alcohol. It includes fact sheets, webinars, a range of apps and resources as well as a quiz for parents to take.
Group Chats
Please, for just a moment, picture yourself in one of our school presentations to students. From Year 3 to Year 12, we ask the same questions around group chats.
They are:
- Who uses group chats to communicate with their friends? – The majority of the room raises their hand.
- Who sleeps with their device in their room? – at least 80% of the room will raise their hand.
- Who has received messages in a group chat after 9pm? – almost the whole room raises their hand.
- Who has woken up to more than 200 messages in the group chat? – all of them raise their hands and talk about it amongst themselves, nodding in agreement. There is also the occasional "more like 1000" comment.
- Who has attempted to read all of the messages? – the resounding response is constantly “checking to see if I was mentioned.”
- Who has seen bullying or any other kind of inappropriate behaviour in the group chats? – all of them raise their hands. Who reported it? 99% of the hands go down.
- Who has been readded to a group chat after they have left? Most raise their hands and eye-roll and comment on how annoying it is.
- Who gets a little anxious if their friends don’t respond to a message within a couple of minutes? – again, the majority raises their hands.
So let’s break these down into nice little bite-size pieces on what you should do.
Group chats can be an excellent way for many people to participate in an online conversation together. They can also be a place where drama, nasty behaviours, exclusion, and bullying can thrive. The most commonly used group chat apps are WhatsApp, Snap Chat, Instagram, Discord, Messenger, and Facebook Messenger. They can be both helpful and harmful. We recommend that children in Primary School only use Facebook Messenger for Kids, so parents have some control over what is going on in the group chat. You don’t have as much power on the other apps.
We have real concerns about the number of young people (as young as eight in most cases) that sleep with devices in their room and under their pillow. They are responding to messages at 11, 12 even 1am. From “friends” all over the world that they are connected to.
Please make sure you put a healthy boundary in place and keep phones and devices out of the bedroom from an early age. Remember, you are the parent, and you need to guide your children on how to be safe, and managing their mental health is a massive part of that. They need a break. They are connected 24/7, and some of those communications can get toxic in Group Chats. They need sleep. Good uninterrupted sleep. Rolling over in the middle of the night and checking messages is a significant health issue. You can read about that here: https://growingupinaustralia.gov.au/research-findings/annual-statistical-reports-2018/are-children-and-adolescents-getting-enough-sleep
There have also been many times when young people have engaged in nasty behaviour about another person in a group chat, then deliberately invited that person into the chat to see those comments. The deliberate nature of this abuse makes it cyberbullying. Re-adding someone once they have left a chat can also be bullying or harassment in some cases.
When they are tired, they are more emotional and less resilient. Things can and may be taken out of context. No one has the right to choose what other people find offensive. There have been countless times when this has resulted in schools being contacted because of the nasty, bullying or inappropriate things happening in the chat. If this is happening in the home after hours between students, please think about how, as a parent, you can do more to support the school by setting healthier boundaries for device use in your home.
Schools have a duty of care to minimise the risk of bullying and other dangers to a child, but it is challenging for them to police when the device is at home, under your roof, in your child’s bedroom.
Help kids develop the skills to know how to leave a group chat that is not helpful or is harmful in any way, including the actual words they may use should they need to leave. With younger kids, teach them how to come up with statements that may help like “sorry guys, this is getting pretty nasty, I’m outta here” as a way to remove themselves, also point out to the other people in the chat that the behaviours may be getting out of hand. Being in charge of their online interactions and knowing how to leave a conversation that makes them uncomfortable online or off is a vital life skill.
Kids need to realise that they may be “guilty by association”, even if they aren’t saying the nasty stuff; they may be considered a bystander if they do not report it and speak up about what is happening in a group chat.
Please help them to develop the skills to put boundaries around their friendships. We don’t have to be accessible all the time just because technology allows that. They need to know that they won’t lose friends if they are not available in the group to chat for 30 minutes while they have dinner. Young people need to be in charge and confident in their relationships. They need to know that their friends will understand that their refusal to engage at every moment of the day and night has nothing to do with the state of their relationship, but rather the management of their time, their devices and their life priorities.
If your child is getting constantly re-added to a group chat that they have left, that can be considered harassment. If your child is re-adding people that have left the group chat remind them that they need consent. They need to ask the permission of the person first “do you want to be re-added to the group chat” for example.
Parenting in this space is very difficult at times, we totally understand that. But please set boundaries and rules. These are required from a very early age. The earlier the better. A school should not be blamed every time something happens online as it is often something that they can’t 100% control if you have given your child a device and have different rules at home to what is at school. Schools educate students on cyber safety. Most schools offer parent education, in all aspects of online safety, and often only a few parents turn up to parent-focused talks. Please attend, I guarantee you will learn something new every time!
Things to remember:
- Keep group chats positive, helpful and supportive. These are not the places we have a whinge about someone else, reveal our intimate secrets or create drama, gossip or spread rumours or share images of others without consent.
- Make sure they know not to feel compelled to respond straight away or be a part of every single interaction in the group chat.
- Remember, there are plenty of ways these chats can become very public if someone takes a screenshot, so they need to be kind, respectful, and responsible at all times.
- Avoid using late at night and keep devices out of the bedroom.
- Turn off notifications, so they are less anxious about response times.
